An Attitude of Gratitude!

Where my thoughts and words flow…by the rivers edge…

This morning after getting my child off to school, I felt a need to grab breakfast and go and sit and talk and reflect to and with God, so I did just that. I ended up at a pretty little spot by the waters edge where one can see the busy cars drive over the little town. Right then and there after bringing my car to a stop and backing in so that I could take in the view while I ate, I made a conscious decision to be grateful today to God for everything including the seasons in my life, happy, sad, and even lonely.

I know in my heart that God has a purpose when I am busy. I know He has a purpose or positive outcome from my sad days, even for the buckets of tears that I’ve collected and ….I believe He has a purpose even for the days when I’m lonely. So, I made a decision today to be thankful for the lonely days and to remember that God needs me to be in that place. I don’t have to know the reason. When God is ready for me to interact, He will supply the people and the opportunity.

In my time with God today, I sensed in my spirit that I needed to reach this point today…that there is a reason for ‘everything’. I knew this intellectually already. I can speak the words out loud even, but today I understood ‘grateful’ even if I do not ‘understand’. I understood today that I am to trust that I am where I am ‘because’ He is my God and He is keeping me safe. I can trust that He brings people into my life. I believe ‘if’ meant for harm initially (although my heart doesn’t want to believe that) that He will bring the good from it. The operative two words here are ‘Gratitude’ and ‘Trust’!

I am learning that I am to trust that God has me right where He has me for a reason and it is not for harm. I found myself questioning why I would think something so absurd. I mean – He is my heavenly Father!! Why would my Father want to harm me? He loves me unconditionally. How do I know this? I know because of all the wrong decisions in my life and I know in my heart He is still there. (I know it in my heart. I see it in my life.) I have felt at times God is saying… “Poor sheep. She really needs me. She is such a lost sheep, but she is learning to know my voice. I am bringing her slowly out of the wilderness and away from the edge. I just wish she would follow my voice and trust where I am leading her.”

Can’t you just imagine the sheep standing at the edge about to fall off of the cliff? I shake my head to think that I would keep walking in a direction I know that God isn’t. Have you ever realized you were standing at the edge and something out of the corner of your mind’s eye caused you to turn around before taking that next step – you simply stopped? Were you grateful? I am.

The next thing on my plate for breakfast was to ask God to forgive my unbelief. I said (this time in prayer) “God I am going to be thankful. I am so very thankful for what I have.” I am learning to be content. I am thankful for content even. I am not going to covet what someone else has – love, money, health. I have all I need with you God by my side! I know now that I can rest and know that when I am weak, that God – you are strong! In fact, I am learning that it’s okay to be thankful for the times of weakness. Realizing this brings me comfort just to know and feel such strength around me. I feel his presence and strength even more in these times. I can just be. I am content with my weakness. I don’t expect to stay here forever, but I am learning that if this is the place He has brought me to …’rest beside the still waters edge’, then I am grateful for it.

I write these things – my experiences (and sometimes question myself as to why I am so open) but I feel led to share my story as it unfolds, to show I am a work in progress in the hopes it speaks to someone. I certainly do not have the answers and that is why I created Pressing On. I believe it is about learning to Press On as we learn. Well, I am learning something new most every day about life and about myself. For instance…’what to do’ and what ‘not’ to do. Yes, I am learning …we never grow too old to learn!

I am writing here at Pressing On even on the days when I am wrong. I have been so wrong. I have been ‘fighting the hands that have been holding me.’

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J95rAr0gOFU

I see that now. I’m truly sorry! I have been focusing too much on me and my pain (and bathing in it) and what was wrong with my life, instead of being grateful for the challenging times and taking the lessons from them, even from the people there in the midst of them. I have learned that even those that appear to oppose me are very valuable to my life. Yes, that’s true! They too teach me things. They may not even realize that I’m observing them or may even admire them. I know God placed them there. I know God allows life circumstances, not for bad, but for His glory through them. I like many, sit around sometimes and wonder how in the world could something beautiful possibly come from any of it, yet as I walk through the days and many months….I see the bits of sparkle left behind. I see it even through others lives, whether they realize it or not.

God has me where I need to be. I am sure of it and I have an inkling it’s time for a change. I can feel it within and I know today the place to start. The place to start is on the steps right in front of me. Those steps which I took today are ‘Gratitude’ and ‘Trust’ and right after those steps, I can now see the next steps of… ‘Revelation’ and ‘Peace’.

I realize that what I was striving to see through my lenses (my vision) may have been the completely wrong view of things. I need to remember to trust God and His view. My view has been obstructed. I’ve been in my own way. My view was distorted because I am flawed. My view has been cluttered with emotion. I see now that I need to trust that God has the perfect 20/20 vision and that even as a lonely sheep, if I will just be grateful that I am his sheep – {HIS Sheep!}!!! His child!….that a reward is on the way. As a child must listen to their parents leading, so I too must trust that I am safe and to remember to allow my Father to guide me, ….by listening to His voice.

It is time for a change (as I’m listening) and I am grateful!

Pressing on…..