Have you been caught up feeling such things as pain, fear and anger for way too long? Did you know it is okay to feel happiness, joy, peace, contentment, love, closeness, excitement? Have you ever felt guilty for feeling happy? Guess what? You deserve to feel happy? Let me ask you some other questions:
(1)How many times have you worried or felt shame for allowing yourself to be slightly joy filled? (2)When you felt the slightest pang of joy, did you then think you had done wrong or that you didn’t deserve somehow to feel those feelings?(3)So what did you do?(4)Did you sabotage your own happiness? Why?(5)Was it your view of how others must see you that turned into a way to punish yourself for something or even for nothing – just simply feeling something good?(6)Why didn’t you feel you deserved to be happy or feel something slightly peaceful?
What if you have become so comfortable with feeling blue? What if you and ‘BLUE’ have seemingly become buddies?You’ve heard the old saying – ‘misery loves company’. The same thing with Misery’s twin ‘BLUE’.
BLUE likes to:
Holds his head down
Looks at the ground when he walks.
Blue is seemingly like the perfect peaceful friend. Blue’s quiet – he seems safe.
Have you ever met BLUE?
Has getting to know and walking along with BLUE somehow felt more comfortable than interacting with others because – “oh my”– they all have those feelings of happy and loud and – “oh my” laughter is too much?
Have you ever told yourself – you would rather be alone with BLUE and sit quietly as opposed to stepping outside of your door to the possibility of loud and “oh my” bright – sunshine?
Was it from years of feeling this way that it all just seems ‘comfy’ and that feeling open and vulnerable is scarey? That it (feelings of happiness) surely doesn’t belong to you anymore? Oh, but YOU want it – YOU may even try to reach for it – but in the end, YOU close the door and go back inside and sit down beside BLUE?
Have you sat there for hours on end, with BLUE, analyzing? As you were analyzing and judging what troubled you from a distance – did you realize it became justifying?
In my jobs over the years, it has been my job to analyze and troubleshoot. That’s what I do personally also. I love to research and analyze. I recently heard the word “analysis paralysis” from a very admired business woman. She talks about how one can analyze and over think and research but then it doesn’t become anything except research.
From what I’ve learned from (1)research, there has to be a place of (2) setting priorities, to (3)creating action items, (4)setting a deadline, (5)breaking it all down into small pieces but then, the great part is actually as you meet the goals or cross off the action items – and marking them as complete – that it is so rewarding.
Do you know that you don’t have to allow yourself to stay inside with BLUE anymore?
You actually do have a choice. You don’t have to allow BLUE, who you think is your friend, to bring you down anymore. BLUE doesn’t want to change or branch out. BLUE just wants to stay in one place and always in the dark.
Did you know that HAPPY is standing just on the other side of the door waiting for you to meet him? In fact – “wow what a glare” from HAPPY’S smile?
So, what if you had a plan TODAY and the PLAN IS THIS: YOU set a priority, a goal to do one thing that makes YOU FEEL happy today? What if the first thing was to allow yourself to open the door and go outside’. Wait – hear me out!
Here is my suggestion – Get a piece of paper – write this down – go ahead…
PRIORITY – GOAL: Go outside.
SET A TIME LIMIT: if it seems overwhelming – like 10 minutes or 30 minutes.
(1)Put your shoes on.
(2)Put your coat on if needed.
(3)Walk toward the door.
(4)Turn the doorknob.
(5)open the door.
(6)take the first step outside.
(10)breathe some more.
(11)FEEL the air.
(12)FEEL the sunshine or rain, the warmth or the coolness.
These action items could be anything from:(a) making phone calls (b)to writing a letter (c)to watching a favorite TV show to singing out loud (e)to going to the store or going to an event or somewhere around others
What I’m trying to convey is this: TODAY IS YOUR DAY TO FEEL HAPPY!
Blue has been there for you and that is okay. But you have others out there waiting to meet you. You do have a choice. You can be happy, you can feel happy.
Set a priority – a goal that you are going to feel happy today.
- Create action items with those things that would make you feel happy.
- Set a deadline if that makes you feel safe.
- CHECK THEM OFF and congratulate yourself! You did it!
Break down those items – list them out and try one a day or several – but as you accomplish those items on your checklist of action items…
…. feel happy – feel …happy – smile – reach around and Pat Yourself On The Back – Go ahead – no one’s watching…I bet you just smiled?
I hope you smiled – No one was watching and so what if they did see you smile?
YOU deserve to feel good.
So why not make the top item on your action list TO – “pack up anger, fear and pain” and secondly to “open the door to meet Happy”! You don’t have to hang out with blue every day – meet new friends.
Go ahead – Get your pen and paper – and SMILE…
HAVE YOU SHARED YOUR STORY WITH SOMEONE TODAY?