How Do You Handle Harsh Words and Hurtful Actions?

I wanted to ask you a question. My question is this – do you ever have relapses? Do you have an issue when something that someone says or does triggers the past abuse and therefore causes a reaction. For instance, when someone speaks harshly to you or with improper language, or even something that your child says or does? I’m not referring to the simple everyday challenges or working through relationships. I am referring to those moments when ‘survival’ mode kicks in and you react too quickly.

We are to act like Jesus. We are to be quick to listen and slow to anger (This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger-James 1:19 New American Standard Bible); and yet I know that we are human. I strive to do good and better each day but sometimes life just trips me.

I have read that anger is not always a bad thing and that it can actually serve as a warning light, that something is not right. Yet, it is also true that to repay evil for evil (Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22 English Standard Version) is not a good idea either. Jesus turned the other cheek (But I tell you, don’t resist him who is evil; but whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. Matthew 5:39 World English Bible) in fact, as Jesus dealt with the greatest accusers, he remained silent. Below is a beautiful explanation of Jesus’ silence:

Isaiah 53:7

Silence is golden when it guards and protects us from saying something needless, foolish or sinful. Silence is uncomfortable and awkward when it is the result of loss of memory or when it forces us to ask important, ultimate questions, that is, when it forces us to face our bare souls. Noise often helps us to hide from God, others and ourselves. 

Silence can shout!  Its voice can be louder than thunder, more piercing than a scream, and it can penetrate the heart more deeply than a curse. 

Our Lord recognized the profound significance of silence in relationship to other people. Although it is often overlooked, one of the outstanding aspects of the suffering and crucifixion of our Lord is His deep silence during His trial and death on the cross. It is striking that Jesus had so little to say while He stood before His accusers and not much more when they hung Him to die. During the entire six hours on the cross Jesus spoke only seven times. 

How do you handle those potentially damaging situations and the triggers to past mistreatment? Share those helpful things that you do, when faced with trigger moments?

This is part of your story – Have you shared it today?


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