I have been reading a lot lately, more now that I have let some other things go in my life. I am working hard on refocusing my thoughts. I was reading today from SECRET THINGS OF GOD by Dr. Henry Cloud and on the chapter You Attract To Yourself Relationships That Fit You, people are asking hard questions. They are asking questions like “why do I keep choosing the wrong people?” “Why do I keep finding myself in the same relationships” that break my heart over and over?
At this point the person realizes it is not the other person, it is their own decisions/choices. They realize it all comes down to the word choice. It all comes down to making healthy choices. It is then that they realize that the “real problem is that their own “people picker” is broken.” Wow, that has been the problem for years it seems in my life. My people picker has been broken. Who knew? God did!
When I had to sit and reflect on my own choices in life, I can see that my own dysfunction is the reason I ran toward a certain type of person. I ran to those with similar dysfunctions and pain. I ran from pain in my childhood and they looking back had unresolved pain from their childhood as well. I rushed into these relationships instead of taking the time to see this. In essence – my people picker has been broken for a very long while.
I wasn’t one that had boundaries. I learned about them. I wasn’t one that liked checklists and refused to use them, I now have learned to love them. I had walls and they were protective that became barriers. I’m learning how to lower them to an acceptable level. I also learned that to get to know someone takes time – I had always rushed. Now I have learned the lesson that time doesn’t even belong to me. I learned it in the quiet. It is God’s timing always.
I never had a list of the traits of someone to look for. I was drawn or not. I now have that list of traits and they are 3 important ones. 1. A man with a heart for God 2. A man who would put God first and me second but that would let his heart be led in love. 3. Kindness. That’s it! Not a long list.
In summary: What I have learned is this – the only people picker that I should trust is God! He is my people picker. I turned my eyes away and although he gave me free will – I became the picker.
The real way to find the one that God wants to lead us to, is to look to the one and only Divine People Picker! He chose you and he chose me and we are okay – just as we are. If he chose you and I, we are more than okay or just good enough. We are loved by the greatest people picker there ever has been – God! He wasn’t broken. We were.
Have a blessed evening,