Today I had an experience that I have not had in a long time. I sat with friends in church today and experienced healing.
To get to this healing however, I had to experience a near melt-down, when my soul was pressed down, shaken, stirred, yet unharmed – and the burdens set free upon beautiful prayers, upon beautiful worship music, with beautiful voices. My heart felt every beat from the drums.
My friend was moved also, I lay my hand on her leg to say “I’m here” as she wept her own burdens onto the cross, while the other friend wrapped her arm around her. I tried to hold it in because I knew – I felt a dam would burst.
In a moment, I saw a lady turn from the pew in front of me and lay her hand on my knee and from her glance and warmth from her hand – it wouldn’t stop – the tears just released themselves. I stopped striving to keep them in.
I prayed – closed my eyes and prayed for my friend and her pain, my losses over the recent years and praying for restoration, I prayed for unity in the midst of this church and within my little town. I prayed essentially for all of us here. I prayed for understanding and for God to lead me now where he wants me to go. I asked him if I was where he wanted me to be and asked for his guidance.
The pastor prayed. We took communion. There was more worship and at first I couldn’t get the words out to the song they were singing.. “it is well” – but little by little, I began to sing until, I could sing the words ..It is well. I remember hearing a beautiful voice behind me – a lady singing…Her voice was very comforting.
God forgive me for taking my eyes off of you and looking in other directions for comfort from things and people and places. Yes, we need someone beside us and I so know that I do. I thank you for the lovely lady who placed her hand on my knee. I thank you for the Pastor, for the worship team and their wonderful music. I thank you for my friends and I thank you for the congregation, that even though I don’t yet know – I thank them for graciously allowing me into worship with them. I thank you God for what you are doing in my life.
I rode home with my friend discussing the service. We were both so moved. I was just at peace. I was tired. All emotion drained. Not sad, relieved. Curious. Anxious to spend time today alone with my God.
I am home now, upstairs in my little room, to remain quiet, work through some things, think about the service and the words and the music and the experience and pray. I then intend to spend time doing for my family.
Some days like today – I just need to be alone with my thoughts and prayers, my songs and God. In fact, I shared my voice in song to you God when I first arrived home, from my heart. I always feel God and I communing when I’m singing to Him. I thank you God for the gift of song and my heart that feels every word.
I thank you for those that I have not yet met – yet I know I will meet them. I feel this so very strongly today, in the quiet that you are doing mighty and beautiful things God…mighty, powerful-spirit filled, beautiful things….You’re a good good Father.