Heard It Through The Grapevine

When doing good is mistaken for something bad.

What if you did something for or toward someone, and someone distorted or twisted your intent and then everyone believes you meant something entirely different? My boss recently said something to me that has me thinking. When you tell a story to someone about an event or person – not meaning harm, just discussing and then it is repeated down the line over and over to many people and the story has lost it’s original meaning and now has a completely new set of facts and connotation what do you do? First of all – if it is between friends – shouldn’t it remain there? What if it was overheard and spread around like wildfire? In other-words – eavesdropping? Has that ever happened to you?

When someone does spread something intentionally are they baiting you? Trying to get a reaction? On purpose trying to discredit you? What do you do? Is it a projection of them and how they feel – but are trying to cover it up?

Truthfully that’s how tales were born and written about. One person states a thing and around the circle and back to you – the story has evolved. Haven’t you ever played that game at parties as a child? I know I even played it at a young adult party. It was meant for fun – but It happens in real life.

When this happens that a story is spread and changed, It doesn’t have to mean there was intent to harm…..if however it has been a smear campaign – just trust – that time, and your perseverance….(trusting God) will bring what tries to remain in the dark to the light if it involves someone intentionally trying to harm.

Remember – you are valuable either way….

What TO do

  • What someone says does not define you as a person.
  • Find someone you trust, who has a known track record of being wise and honest and ask their advice – or at least in the form of someone to support you through it.
  • When you find out this is the case and what has been said – state it once – directly, succinctly – just as you did before…or not. You do not have to defend yourself ….if you have not intended harm. The truth will eventually be shown. Just continue to walk your truth and your life.
  • Forgive. It might not happen right away….but as I learned years ago..it takes them off of your hook and places them on Gods and it sets you free to live life again.
  • Live your life – you have a right to feel safe in your home, in your community and in your place of business or even your church.
  • Go to them directly if you feel you can get through to them and tell them what you have learned when it is safe to do so – perhaps bringing an accountability partner.
  • Seek additional counsel if needed when this causes you to feel unsafe.

…Otherwise….Most probably best to place them on ignore….just keep walking your walk…..and remember you are valuable just the way you are!


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